.national asshole day.

I'm all by myself at the front desk today and usually there are 3 of us working.  I have had every obnoxious and difficult patient walk through the door or call this morning and have no where to go with them.  I've spent all morning apologizing for something a} I didn't do and b} I have no control over.  What is this, National Asshole Day?  Sorry you feel the doctor is no entitled to a day off and no it is none of your business where he is or what he is doing.  For all you know, he could be ill himself.  I am not liking today...not at all.  Someone please throw me under a bus.  Oh! I almost forgot that Jen Lancaster is on Today this morning!  I may have a chance of actually seeing it as I don't have cable at home.  That's right we live Little House on the Prarie style.

20 minutes later...

What are the odds that the 4 phone lines stayed quiet and nobody walked through the door long enough for me to watch Jen Lancaster on Today?  I'm just sayin...

xoxo
 ♥berlin™

.i need my fix.

Day 16/349

Dear Sirs:

It has come to my attention that it has been entirely too long since I have shopped in a big girl store.  I have shopped and shopped and shopped in Target {no hard feelings, you're still my true love} for the past uncountable number of months due to this damn moving thing BUT I need my fix.

I need NY & Co., Ann Taylor Loft, Banana Republic, Bakers, Macy's...SOMETHING with style.  Again, no offense Target you have lovely style.  Especially with the new Liberty of London products.  I just need to go shopping in my big girl shoes sans stroller.

If you could make this possible at some point in time, please notify my secretary so I can pencil it in.

xoxo 

♥berlin™

.mmm goldfish.

Day 15/350

Hooray!  We're finally getting a fridge!! Not that we didn't have one at all.  Our lovely old neighbors lent us a college sized fridge to get by until we were able to get a regular sized refrigerator.  Our first week in the house was a total liveoutofacooler week.  Then my boss was trying to be helpful and gave us a refrigerator from an apartment that they emptied out a year ago.  Over an hour of inhaling a mixture of mold and bleach fumes and 24 hours of electricity later we find out it's only blowing hot air.  Great if it's cold in the house...we could just leave the door open and it would be like one of those heated fans.  Needless to say, it went on the porch.  So then we fit in with the rest of the neighborhood.  Anyway...said fridge was supposed to come at 12pm today.  Yeah.  We alllll know how that goes.  I was shocked when it arrived at 4:30pm.  Mind you it came in a Pepperidge Farms™ truck with some pretty creepy looking men.  I know it's their job to bring the new fridge in and set it up and make sure it works but hey, when you're home alone with a 4 year old boy and you freak out about just going grocery shopping by yourself because you have some unrealistic anxiety issues, it's a no go.  Please please just take your fishie truck and be out.  I immediately started having nightmares while I was awake about the men breaking back into my house and attacking me.  Caleb, put on your Batman cape and your Bumblebee helmet and save mommy.  You guessed it, immediately locked the door and peeked out the blinds to make sure that the truck left with both men inside {while yelling at Caleb to get away from the window and stop waving at the men}.  Ok  ~ maybe they were just delivering a fridge.  But don't say I didn't warn ya.

xoxo 

♥berlin™

.is this for real.

Day 5/360

The bedroom is done!  All it needs is the little princesses to make it complete.  There is still no electric but my new found friends at the store in front of our apartment have assisted me in finding our meter.  Our address is an entire block and a half away from the building in front of us.  Not quite sure who numbered the houses.  Does that mean our lease isn't even valid?  Our electric will be on by tomorrow at 3:00pm.  I guess we'll find out which is our right address by 3:01pm.  If not, someone else in our neighborhood will be very happy that they have electric and they're not paying for it.

It's not worth worrying over today.  It is cinco de mayo and time for margaritas at Pacifico!

xoxo 

♥berlin™

.it's only day 4.

Day 4/361

The smell has not left.  Maybe something died in the woods behind our house.  I think I'd prefer that over sewage.

Around 11:30am this morning Eli called me at work to let me know we have no electric.  I honestly don't even want to know what's next.  I called PPL to switch the electric over to my name assuming that the landlord took his name off the account since we started moving in.  Never assume.  You know that saying... it makes an ass out of u and me?  Yeah.  Proved it.  I'm sorry ma'am...the address you gave me is not a valid address.  What?? How is this possible?? This is the address on my lease, on my change of address form, and on my new #%(*$U# checks from the bank?  Well I suggest that you either call your landlord to get the correct address or get the meter number and we will be glad to assist you.

Arrrrgh!! Don't they have techs for this?  Doesn't somebody get paid to come out and figure these things out?  If not, there should be.  I was planning on working until about 8pm tonight however this house crap has me so frustrated that I couldn't even function. 

When I arrived home I was surprised to find that Eli and Uncle Darrell painted the girls room a lovely "pink ribbon".  Ms. Iliketopaintinthedark showed up to paint unexpectedly and was slightly upset {and itching up a storm} to find it was half way finished already.  Well helloooo the place was empty for how many months before we moved in?  I'm sorry but it doesn't take a freakin week to paint one room.  The painting will continue tomorrow considering the color prior looked like shiny shit smeared on the walls so that will take multiple coats to cover.  Oh yeah, and light helps.  Once that's done the girls' bedroom will be decorated with cute little cuddly owls and hedgehogs.

xoxo ♥berlin™

.horrific smell.

Day 3/362 {Monday}

First day back to work and I feel like this has been one never ending week.  We have been going non~stop for the past three days with the exception of the boxing match the other night.  We are still fridgeless and unpainted.  Again with the 9pm phone call about painting.  Not happening.  I don't know what kind of schedule other people live on but in this house we sleep at night.  Thank goodness for friends and relatives because this house is unfit for adults let alone children.  GiGi is having a great time at Grandma's house and apparently has half of Lancaster wrapped around her tiny 2 year old finger.  Caleb has been spending the majority of the time at his TiTi's {a.k.a. aunt} house while we attempt to make our home look a little bit less like a scene from Cops.  As of last night our painter was coming this morning at 9am {Gee! A normal time!} to work on the girl's bedroom.  It is now 4:30pm and there's been no sign of coming.  I believe I would have a better chance of a U.F.O. sighting at this point.  

We have the majority of the house emptied out, the kitchen scrubbed, carpets steam cleaned, and furniture in place.  Have I mentioned this is exhausting and why did we not hire professional movers to do this?  I walked into the boys bedroom this afternoon and it smells like somebody dropped a deuce.  Our neighbor tells us this is a familiar smell because of all the apartments being on the same septic system but the problem was supposed to have been fixed.  Greeeeeeeeat.

 Oh!  Oh!  I spotted my first dumpster diver tonight.  I've heard of it.  I know people who have done it or a variation such as garbage picking.  Never seen it.  You will not, I repeat, will NOT find me anywhere remotely close to a dumpster or diving in such a thing.

At this point we seem to be having some sort of misadventures of moving to Quakertown so I have a feeling I'll be posting quite frequently for your amusement and my own someday.

xoxo

♥berlin™

.why did we do this again?.

Day 2/363

Where did I aquire all this stuff?! I need to start moving more often... moving was so much more simplistic when I didn't stay in the same place for 4+ years. I also didn't have children at that time so that *may* be part of it HOWEVER it seems as if I have enough to furnish an entire small third world county.

There is so much work to be done in order for us to live here. I think I may have had blinders over my eyes when we originally looked at the apartment. Maybe it was because we were getting so frustrated with the house being for sale and constantly having to rearrange our schedules and leave at a moments notice for the realtors and prospective buyers to come in and criticize our way of living. Do you know how hard that is to do with one working car and opposite work schedules?? I must say, real estate agents are some of the most arrogant people I have ever met {at least in this current situation}. At any rate... I am itchy, cut up from shards of glass, dirtier than I've ever been in my life, bleached, and just plain exhausted and it's only day 2.

Oh yeah, and the "painter"? She was painting when we went for the keys yesterday... said she was "slapping a coat on the bathroom" and then had to leave for another job but she'd be back by 7 to paint again. Yeah. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday. Slapping a coat in the bathroom is exactly what she did. I hope there's another coat to be slapped because we have some nice white streaks showing through the cream paint...or maybe it's a new decorative effect that I'm not up to speed on. Our phone rang at 9pm when we were finally taking a break and leaving the house to watch the boxing match {Go Mayweather!}. Come over and paint at 10pm when I'm not home and all my gorgeous hand~me~downs are already moved in? Go take another hit off your crack pipe.

xoxo
♥berlin™

.cape cod smack in the middle of the trailer park.

Day 1/364



Moving is never fun...but every other move that I've done is a picnic compared to this. First day moving to the new house and guess what?!?! THE PLACE ISN'T PAINTED YET.

We also got to meet {one of} our neighbors. She is the oh~so~not~professional painting our house. Mind you, the house has only been empty for 2 whole months sooooooooo there should have been ample time to paint two rooms and a hallway no?

To be continued....

xoxo

♥berlin™