Over the past few weeks I have questioned Starbucks employees incessantly about when the Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate (best stuff on earth) shall be arriving. I get the normal "oh I think in a few weeks.... I'm not really sure.... Probably closer to winter". These answers have appeased me for the time being.
Today the horrifying news came:
"Sorry, we just found out that we're not getting that in this year."
Curse you Starbucks! I need to boycot! Or perhaps find a new drink. I did however learn the secret of how they are made. Ha!! I am one up on your evil empire. I shall construct the drink at home. Now just to get ahold of the toffee syrup....
xoxo
♥ berlin™
11.14.2009
7.01.2009
.becoming two-faced.
In my shopping travels this past Saturday, my mother decided to visit Ann Taylor Loft. Having seen some rather cute outfits in the windows occasionally I agreed to check it out. Soon after entering the store, an associate greeted my mother with a friendly "Hello, can I help you find anything in particular?". We wandered around, carefully examining all the racks, especially the sale racks. Jeans for $10.99! That's almost unheard of! Sweaters for $5.00! Oh my!
With bundles of clothes in our hands, the same sales associate approaches my mother and asks if she may get a fitting room ready for her. Never once even GLANCES in my direction {4 feet is sooo like 400 feet these days}. I shrug it off and go on wandering around the store carrying my finds, my extra large DD coffee, and pushing a double stroller with two noisey toddlers. We retreat to the fitting rooms {I almost knock down some racks in the process... why aren't any stores STROLLER FRIENDLY?!}, where a nice room awaits my mother. I, on the other hand, somehow manage to push open a door to my fitting room, with the stroller in front of me, and hands full of crap. GO ME! I try on my clothes and amazingly they fit rather nicely so I head back out to the sales floor...
Stupid associate of the month returns to exclaim how much she would loooove to take my mother's definite purchases and place them behind the counter for her...once again, not even glancing in my direction. Hello?! Do you not see the R~E~A~L Coach purse dangling off my forearm? Is it the fact that I'm wearing flipflops? Or not carrying Starbucks {you are my true love}? Shit. These people even cater to the dogs that shop at this outdoor mall. Whatever the case may be that I was not worthy of her expertise in holding clothing - my mother took my items so I would be able to better manage the children/coffee/stroller fiasco. And guess what? Employee says "Ma'am would you like to try those items on as well?" YEAH. Cuz my mom just grew 8 pants sizes in 5 minutes. Stupid bitch.
Douglas Cosmetics was muuuuch more friendly. It's amazing what friendly can get you. Like $80+ worth of make-up in a teeny tiny bag {Did I mention it was only foundation, eye makeup remover, face wash & mascara? Oh yeah, and the mascara was *free*!}. But oh, how I love the name. The make-up is called Two-Faced. Now to see if I like how it looks on me...
With bundles of clothes in our hands, the same sales associate approaches my mother and asks if she may get a fitting room ready for her. Never once even GLANCES in my direction {4 feet is sooo like 400 feet these days}. I shrug it off and go on wandering around the store carrying my finds, my extra large DD coffee, and pushing a double stroller with two noisey toddlers. We retreat to the fitting rooms {I almost knock down some racks in the process... why aren't any stores STROLLER FRIENDLY?!}, where a nice room awaits my mother. I, on the other hand, somehow manage to push open a door to my fitting room, with the stroller in front of me, and hands full of crap. GO ME! I try on my clothes and amazingly they fit rather nicely so I head back out to the sales floor...
Stupid associate of the month returns to exclaim how much she would loooove to take my mother's definite purchases and place them behind the counter for her...once again, not even glancing in my direction. Hello?! Do you not see the R~E~A~L Coach purse dangling off my forearm? Is it the fact that I'm wearing flipflops? Or not carrying Starbucks {you are my true love}? Shit. These people even cater to the dogs that shop at this outdoor mall. Whatever the case may be that I was not worthy of her expertise in holding clothing - my mother took my items so I would be able to better manage the children/coffee/stroller fiasco. And guess what? Employee says "Ma'am would you like to try those items on as well?" YEAH. Cuz my mom just grew 8 pants sizes in 5 minutes. Stupid bitch.
Douglas Cosmetics was muuuuch more friendly. It's amazing what friendly can get you. Like $80+ worth of make-up in a teeny tiny bag {Did I mention it was only foundation, eye makeup remover, face wash & mascara? Oh yeah, and the mascara was *free*!}. But oh, how I love the name. The make-up is called Two-Faced. Now to see if I like how it looks on me...
4.09.2009
profound thought of the day
It's been 2 months since I've posted. I shut off my house phone, therefore lost internet access from home, and now share my cell phone with my other half. And the only meaningful thing I can think of to say:
When chewing "minty" gum, my tongue feels like I licked the lint catcher in my dryer.
♥berlin™
When chewing "minty" gum, my tongue feels like I licked the lint catcher in my dryer.
♥berlin™
2.05.2009
10 minus 3 does not equal EXPRESS
So my order finally shipped on the 3rd. Supposedly they upgraded my shipping. I've been patiently tracking it... my receipt still says that I have 4-8 day ground shipping by the lovely United States Postal Service. However, according to the return email (see previous entry), I was assured that my shipping would be upgraded. When I click on tracking it pulls up Fed Ex to track the order. I just was tracking my shipment to see how far it has made since going from Illinois to Ohio. It hasn't left Ohio. My estimated home arrival? FEBRUARY 10TH.
Guess what? I learned in first grade that 10-3 = 7. SEVEN DAYS.
Guess what?
They're. Getting. A. Letter.
♥berlin™
Guess what? I learned in first grade that 10-3 = 7. SEVEN DAYS.
Guess what?
They're. Getting. A. Letter.
♥berlin™
2.02.2009
OTSBH saga continues
Sooo my bras that I ordered last Monday are still in Lane Bryant's warehouse. Laaaame. (Un)luckily for them I was rather cranky this morning so I decided to send an email to them. It is as follows:
Lane Bryant Customer Service
P.O. Box 27586
Tucson, AZ 85726-6886
RE: Order # 86827804
Reference # '090202-000050'
Dear Sirs:
I have been checking the status of my order for the past week. I ordered it on Monday, 1/26/2009, during my lunch break and according to your website it would pull that day if ordered before 3pm. Today when I checked on my order, it still said processing but when i clicked on the "View" button this is what came up:
ORDER 86827804
date:
shipped to: billed to:
, ,
product color / size savings qty price
subtotal Can
shipping & handling Can
duty Can
tax Can
total to be billed: Can
To my knowledge that would indicate that you have cancelled my order. At what point in time was I going to be notified? When I can no longer wear my other bras because they are ripping or the under-wires are coming out? Do you realize that a size 38H IS NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE???? Please respond and ensure me that my order will arrive at my doorstep no later than Wed, 2/4/2009, which is 8 business days from the time I placed the order (since that's the shipping option I chose - 4 to 8 business days).
Sincerely,
Amber ************
To which they kindly responded:
Dear Amber ***********,
Thanks for taking the time to contact us.We are experiencing delays in processing orders and we apologize for the inconvenience. We will request your order be upgraded in shipping at no cost to make up for the extended processing time. Once your order has shipped, you will receive a shipping confirmation email.
Sincerely,
Ranesa McFarland
Lanebryant.com Customer Service
Moral of the story: Sometimes it pays to be a bitch.
♥berlin™
Lane Bryant Customer Service
P.O. Box 27586
Tucson, AZ 85726-6886
RE: Order # 86827804
Reference # '090202-000050'
Dear Sirs:
I have been checking the status of my order for the past week. I ordered it on Monday, 1/26/2009, during my lunch break and according to your website it would pull that day if ordered before 3pm. Today when I checked on my order, it still said processing but when i clicked on the "View" button this is what came up:
ORDER 86827804
date:
shipped to: billed to:
, ,
product color / size savings qty price
subtotal Can
shipping & handling Can
duty Can
tax Can
total to be billed: Can
To my knowledge that would indicate that you have cancelled my order. At what point in time was I going to be notified? When I can no longer wear my other bras because they are ripping or the under-wires are coming out? Do you realize that a size 38H IS NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE???? Please respond and ensure me that my order will arrive at my doorstep no later than Wed, 2/4/2009, which is 8 business days from the time I placed the order (since that's the shipping option I chose - 4 to 8 business days).
Sincerely,
Amber ************
To which they kindly responded:
Dear Amber ***********,
Thanks for taking the time to contact us.We are experiencing delays in processing orders and we apologize for the inconvenience. We will request your order be upgraded in shipping at no cost to make up for the extended processing time. Once your order has shipped, you will receive a shipping confirmation email.
Sincerely,
Ranesa McFarland
Lanebryant.com Customer Service
Moral of the story: Sometimes it pays to be a bitch.
♥berlin™
1.26.2009
sorry, pretty doesn't come in your size
I'd love to slap the person that designed bras. I've heard that it was a man. I've been perusing websites for the past week in search of new OTSBH (Over the shoulder boulder holders) for my girls and I've only come up with the following: sorry, pretty doesn't come in your size; nursing bras; this bra will cost you an entire day's pay; nursing bras; sorry that bra size doesn't EXIST; nursing bras... did I mention that the majority of bras in my size are NURSING BRAS?? And since when is a size DDD SUPER large??
I did manage to find bras at a stunning $16.00/piece at www.lanebryant.com over the weekend. Unfortunately for myself, I waited until my lunchbreak today to order said bras and they are no longer $16.00/piece. I knew it was too good to be true. Also, when I got to the point of "Thanks for your order" it has "We invite you to shop our sister sites" which is lovely that they are attempting to promote more sales for partner stores. I'm all for that. But don't you think a site for PLUS SIZED women SHOULDN'T be promoting a site for FOOD {although it is a lovely site: www.figis.com}?? Of course, it does help keep them in business!
♥berlin™
I did manage to find bras at a stunning $16.00/piece at www.lanebryant.com over the weekend. Unfortunately for myself, I waited until my lunchbreak today to order said bras and they are no longer $16.00/piece. I knew it was too good to be true. Also, when I got to the point of "Thanks for your order" it has "We invite you to shop our sister sites" which is lovely that they are attempting to promote more sales for partner stores. I'm all for that. But don't you think a site for PLUS SIZED women SHOULDN'T be promoting a site for FOOD {although it is a lovely site: www.figis.com}?? Of course, it does help keep them in business!
♥berlin™
1.25.2009
war part I
The bait is set. Only a few minor casualties {trap snapped twice on Eli's hand} in the process of setting the traps. Now we just sit and wait... and wait. I said the war was on but since seeing more little droppings in the kids room and in my closet it's soooooo on. I also heard something chewing in the wall or under the floor while sitting on the couch in the living room reading to the kids.
I'll keep you posted.
♥berlin™
I'll keep you posted.
♥berlin™
1.21.2009
and then there was war
Oh. no. it. didn't.
I've been bugging and bugging Eli to discard of the {dead} {frozen} mouse for weeks now. He finally got rid of it today.
While lying on my bed this evening checking my email, I hear it.
CHEWING. In the ceiling once again.
FUCKER - YOU TOO SHALL DIE.
This means war - Bring on the peanut butter {salmonella is optional}.
♥berlin™
I've been bugging and bugging Eli to discard of the {dead} {frozen} mouse for weeks now. He finally got rid of it today.
While lying on my bed this evening checking my email, I hear it.
CHEWING. In the ceiling once again.
FUCKER - YOU TOO SHALL DIE.
This means war - Bring on the peanut butter {salmonella is optional}.
♥berlin™
1.07.2009
missing candles...
Nana & Pop-Pop - Christmas 2004
Pop-Pop & Caleb - February 2006
Andrew & Gayle's Wedding - July 2006Happy Birthday Pop-Pop
miss you...
♥berlin™
1.04.2009
New Year's checklist
In leiu of making a New Year's resolution this year {which lasts for a max of 5 seconds} I decided to make a "to do list". I decided to post it on here because 1. I can't lose it like a piece of paper and 2. If it's in my face all the time, the likelihood of me doing it is a smidge better.
So here goes everything {or nothing}:
So here goes everything {or nothing}:
berlin™'s 2009 get-off-your-ass-and-do-this-shit list
- Write in KB & GiGi's baby books - the kids are now 3 and 1 1/2, I think it's past due.
- Organize recipes in binder and possible start cooking again
- VACATION {I'm sooo hitting the beach for a week this year}
- VACATION {I need time off without the kids - Casinos anyone?}
- VACATION {I haven't figured out where this one is going yet - maybe Michigan}
- Down-size on "crap". I've lived here for over 2 years now; longest running in my book so I'm sure I've acquired the most crap living here.
- Move. I'm looking for a nice place with 3 bedrooms that has A/C, washer/dryer, and a dishwasher and I can afford. If I cannot find said place, I'll settle for 2 bedrooms.
- Obtain a new-to-me car. Only standards being: it has a trunk that opens, reverse lights that work, a radio/cd player that stays closed without the use of folded up paper, and the insides are all intact.
- Lose 50 pounds. Oh yes I said 50. Nothing like setting your standards high eh?
I believe that is a fairly good start. Anything more and I may just be setting myself up for failure. Of course, looking back at the big ticket items on the list, I may be doing that anyway. Will keep you posted.
♥berlin™
1.03.2009
for your dining pleasure
While dining out at Applebee's this evening, I realized several things:
- My taste in restaurants needs to grow up - I need a place with extremely high backs on the booths because I don't like watching other people eat.
- If your teeth are black, I know you're happy you still have them, but please PLEASE do not consistently grin with your mouth open
- Keep your voice down in a public restaurant; i.e. if I wanted to know about some girl staying at Frank's place and wearing Frank's pants, I'd pull up a chair at your table to be part of your conversation
- I don't claim to be an extremely high tipper but I generally leave more than the standard 15% so please don't have me pay the bill, say you'll be right back with the dessert to go and then start sweeping the floor around me leaving me to wait another FIFTEEN minutes until I call your attention and you apologize for desserts that are already in to go cups when you put the order in. I WANT 5% OF MY TIP BACK.
- Any of the above said *could be* a bit distorted as I had 2 ultimate long island iced teas and they still seem to do the trick of getting me pretty tipsy quickly. I still reserve the right to stand by my word - in my head, it's legit.
♥berlin™
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