.pussy soup for dinner.

it's not what you're thinking.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pussy+soup

xoxo
♥berlin™

workin our way to homeless

The house is up for sale...

There's nothing for rent in the area...

"Oh don't worry, this will be limited to a specific buyer type due to the size of the home"...

There's nothing affordable & big enough for rent in the area...

1.5 weeks later
"Someone has put an offer on the house"...

I called an apartment complex that has 3 bedroom apartments (vacant). I was told they'd be more than happy to let us come look at the apartment on Thursday. That is until...

Slow Lady: "How many of you are there?"

Me: "4...2 adults & 2 children; one is 4 years old and one is 2 1/2. There are 3 other children that visit occasionally but they do not reside with us."

Slow Lady: "Ok... see you... Thursday..."

Me: "OK great, we'll be there before 5pm."

Phone hangs up...and a total of 3 minutes ticks by.

Slow Lady: "Hello? Ms. *********?"

Me: "Speaking, how can I help you?"

Slow Lady: "Well I talked to my manager, and she thought you'd be better off on a first floor apartment... due to the children. You can check back with us the first week of April or May to see if anything will be opening up. We require 2 months notice when moving so move in would be....May or June..."

Me: "Umm..ok but the place we're in is getting sold and I need to know where I'm going. Can I maybe take a 2nd floor apartment and then switch to a first floor when one becomes available?"

Slow Lady: "No...you'll be locked in for a year when you move in... so please call us back, we'd love to have you"

Phone hangs up.

Yeah, you'd love to have us. Just not on the second floor.

f.t.p.

xoxo
♥berlin™

urinals for giants

So...at work today, we were seeing a patient for a driver's physical. For all commercial driver's licenses a urinalysis is required by law in order to pass the physical. For this, we conveniently have little "pee" cups located in both the mens & womens bathrooms. Today the men's room was "out of order". Great. Men are gross in the bathroom.

This particular gentleman was instructed to go to the bathroom and give a urine sample in said cup. He followed instructions...or so we thought.

The next person to use the bathroom, walked into the ladies room to find drops of pee all over the floor along with a sink full of urine. Now imagine if you will, our gorgeous new bathroom sinks. They are a shallow bowl that sits ON TOP OF the counter with almost a mosiac pattern inside it. Please read: THIS IS NOT A URINAL FOR GIANTS. PLEASE DIRECT ALL SPRAYS OF PISS OVER THE TOILET IN THE FUTURE. Thank you and have a nice day.

xoxo
♥berlin™